Friday, June 24, 2016

19 Weeks and Pregnanting All Wrong

I gave in today.  As I sit here, my pants are being held together with a rubber band.  Oh, I can still zip them up if I really want to.  But breathing has overridden my vanity.  I've just begun week 19 of my mutation, transformation, production expansion.  I have to say, it hasn't been at all what I expected.  In fact, it's been pretty damn easy so far.  I want to punch myself in the face for even typing that sentence out.  And I'm pretty sure I've just cosmically jinxed myself.  And yet, there it is.

In fact, I hadn't realized how worried I was about not having many symptoms, until my last checkup when I started bawling while lying on the exam table listening to his little heartbeat and having my Doc reassure me that all was well.  I simply hadn't felt pregnant.  And it worried me.  Everything I'd been reading was telling me how difficult and wretched everything was supposed to be.  Especially for a woman like me, who is "advanced age-high risk".

Here's what I have experienced:
  • I've had heartburn a couple of times.
  • My boobs KILLED during the first trimester and I winced every night as I'd attempt to remove my bra without making booby contact.
  • I have to pee every 17 minutes.  Sometimes sooner. 
I've already gained 10lbs.  So that's super supes.  I'm 5'6 and pre-prego was a hardy 135lbs.  Doc isn't concerned so neither am I.  Yet.

Haven't gotten around to taking the 19 week pic yet. I'm at the awkward stage where I don't quite look pregnant but rather like I just ate the entire dessert section of a Vegas buffet.  Twice.

Um.  Yeah.  So far, that's kind of it.  I have a theory though.  I'm thinking that all those years and years of having miserably painful periods where I was curled into a fetal ball of agony is making this feel like a snap.  That, combined with the fact that I no longer wake up with the familiar caress of my years long companion, the hangover, I'm feeling pretty damn good.  Who knew?

I have had one major, annoying, inconvenience.  I cry.  Like, for the most asinine reasons.  Let's use some more bullet points!
  • I recently went to St. George for the weekend and I cried because I missed my dog. 
  • I read a news article where a 12 year old girl accidentally ran a marathon.  Which clearly calls for tears.
  • Getting dressed the other morning, I realized I was down to one last bra that actually fit.  I plopped down in front of my closet and bawled.  And then cried again on my way to work because crying had made me late. 
  • Someone on FB posted an obituary for a woman in Cincinnati I'd never known or even heard of.  I burst into tears because she was dead. 
  • Gordon Ramsey hugged someone on Kitchen Nightmares.  I ugly cried. 
I have an ultrasound appointment on Monday.  I have to drink 32oz. of fluid an hour before my appointment.  I'll probably pee myself.  And then cry.



17 comments:

  1. I can't relate to the pregnancy, but I can say that I am very happy for you that it is going so well! (I hope that if that makes you cry, it's happy tears :P )

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    1. Thanks TriGirl. :) Happy tears are always acceptable.

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  2. Laughing out my ass right now. Thank you for making my night! (Not joking. You probably made my weekend. A marriage and two kids later and I cry for seemingly no reason, too. Good times!) Good to know your sense of humor is as awesome as ever. ��

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    1. Those diamond question marks are NOT what I typed. They were kissy faces, for hell's sake. Way to ruin it, stupid emotionless computer that interpreted it that way.

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    2. And now I'M laughing. I can totally hear your frustrated voice in my head right now. Oh how I miss you dear.

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  3. Don't know what you're refering to as 'advanced age' (and no, I'm Not asking you to clarify dear) but as I'm heading into the wind up of things and putting men on pause-> the crying has kicked it up a few notches here too. Like you said, it can be over some of the stupidest, inane and even assanine things and its full on bawling over nothing. Such bullshit if you ask me.

    There's been days when wearing makeup is fruitless. No amount of anything spackled on can hide the results of the ugly cry.

    Good to hear the hangover moved on. She really wasn't your friend anyways. Real friends don't make you feel like shit or worry about what you did the night before. Nope. :-)

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    1. No, the hangover really wasn't my friend, but I sure do miss what caused her to come around.
      So sorry to hear the cry's are hitting you pretty hard too. Every so often is okay but when it starts happening with regularity, it's just plain inconvenient.

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  4. Very happy that things are going well :)

    I wish you a terrific weekend!

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    1. Thank you Keith. Hope you're having a great one as well. Weekend that is. Not pregnancy. Just to clarify.

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  5. I was thinking that your reasons for crying were totally reasonable until I got to the one about Gordon Ramsey. Gordon Ramsey should never make anyone cry unless he's screaming in your face and you just want it to stop. Hopefully, everything keeps going smoothly. Wait, did you say "he"? You already know your baby is going to be a boy!?! Do you have a name picked out? Can I suggest a name or five? Like, how about a tone, like Ohm, or Yam (Yammy is a great nickname), Rolph, Ezequiel (Eazy for short), and, hear me out, Isis. It's a strong Egyptian name. You can take it back! I'm sure there won't be any problems for him in the future with the name Isis. Aaaaaand noe we're both on an NSA watch list.

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    1. Yeah, I totally didn't get why Ramsey being a compassionate human being is what broke me that particular day. I'm jacked up right now.
      As for your baby name suggestions, *sigh* oh Pickleope. I think Yammy is the only contender right now. Though, I haven't run it by Erik yet. I may need to request some more options. But maybe not from you. Loves!

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  6. I am happy that you and baby are both doing so well. Tears are okay; they are cleansing. Let it out when you need to. Baby will cry later on, when you will take turns. *wink* HUGS!

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  7. Hey, at least you can pinpoint what made you cry!
    Sadly, if I'm crying there usually is no real reason. But it doesn't happen very often.

    I really have nothing to offer here, having never done the prego thing. ...except the Prego spaghetti sauce. I wonder if that's how they got their name?

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  8. Awe, the rubber band. How I don't miss those days.

    But the crying... it doesn't ever end. Damn kids. Even when they are teenagers, they make you cry.

    I'm glad everything is going well! Hugs lady.

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  9. I hope your guy is good to you. I sometimes forget how emotional the whole experience can be for a woman with the body and hormonal changes. A few times a day I have to take a step back and make sure I'm doing nice things for Mrs. Noisewater and remind her that she's beautiful. That's what it's all about.

    Also, when you said your boobs were KILLING, I thought you meant they were, you know, killing it, like they were growing and looking fantastic. Leave it to a guy to think that's what you meant.

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  10. Production expansion - that's the best name I've ever heard for it! You don't even look pregnant, so it's not surprising you're having few symptoms. Don't cry, VV - I'm here rooting for you in Ohio!

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  11. Oh gees, I soooooo know those painful periods. I wanted to kill myself from the pain as I rolled on the floor. My gyny told me pregnancy would fix it. It did x

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