Tuesday, January 22, 2013

FIRMOO!! Yeah, I didn't know what that meant either.

Sooo I agreed to do another review.  Don't worry, I'm not trying to pass off another sex toy as a toothbrush.

Nope.  This time it's for a company called Firmoo,  A global on-line optical store.  They even have a first pair free program.  They offered to let me review a pair of sunglasses or eyeglasses of my choice.  

Mind you, when I agreed to do this review, there still existed this giant, crazy ball of flames in the sky known as the sun.  I was stoked for a free pair of new shades.  I went to the site and started perusing the sunglasses available for review.  What I discovered was, there was no way in hell I'd wear the sunglasses offered for review.  They were, well, in a word, fugly.

Welp.  Now what?  My eyesight is just fine so I don't wear glasses.  I perused further and discovered I needn't have worried because...
 
"The old opinion that glasses are only necessities for people with vision problems has already gone. Glasses are increasingly becoming a fad and must-have accessories for  celebs and fashionistas. Everyday we can spot millions of non prescription glasses wearers and we are constantly fascinated by many noted film stars’ signature non prescription glasses.They instantly upgrade your look of modern, sexy, vintage or geek by wearing different styles of frames."
  
And BAM.  Just like that we're back in business.  There's even a nifty virtual try-on system you can use with your own photos.

Which I did not use.

Which is why I ended up like this...

These little gems can be found here.  Click me!
 
I wore them to family dinner on Sunday and was met with mixed reviews.  Well, actually it was the same review from everyone.  By mixed I mean mixed signals.

Mother asked, "Why are you wearing glasses?"
I explained.
"Oh.  I think they look cute", said through a tight lipped smile indicating she meant the exact opposite.

Enter youngest sister.  "Why are you wearing glasses?'
Already sick of explanations.
"Well, at least it's not another sex toy review.  And, uh.  They look cute", said as her voice rose in pitch indicating a bald-faced lie.

I made brother-in-law try them on then immediately, inadvertently, insulted him.  So I'm gonna skip that part.

In comes Father.  "Are you wearing glasses?" he asks while squinting at me having clearly misplaced his own.
My answer in the affirmative was met with, "Oh, I like them.  They look nice", said as his eyes narrowed into even smaller, squinted slits.

Thanks Mr. Myopic. 

I decided my family's opinion didn't count.  Besides, they clearly couldn't be trusted to tell the truth.  And if you can't trust your family, who CAN you trust?

I went straight to facebook.  Obvi.

I asked my fellow facebookers to leave a one word adjective to describe the look.  Some didn't know how to limit it to one word.  Some didn't know what adjective meant.  But they tried real hard and by golly, I love em for it!  Here's the result of the awesome outpouring of participation:

  • Smartest-looking-girl-ever. If there are dashes between the words then it makes it one word. And pretty;).
  • Spec'tacular!
  •  Aw, come on! Give me two words! Love'em. There. I did it in 1. Ha!
  • Hey, now you look smart.
  • Strabismus. That is my word. I'm sorry, but I'm just not used to this look!
  • totally ADORB!
  • Symbiotic
  •  um
  •  Spectacular
  • Cute
  •  Spec's are cool...jacket lame.
  •  Enigmatic?
  •  Velma?
  •  allowed.
  •  Studious
  •  Very Hot Dawn!!
  •  sleek
  •  Meh
  •  sexy secretary
  •  Sexy. LOVE glasses.
  •  Cute, but you've got better ones.
  •  Smart
  •  Its hard to judge the glasses fairly with that cheesy grin on your face....
  •  Space.  As in they leave a lot of space around the eyes.
  •  Nerd

So, everything from sexy to meh, to nerd to um.  I was still undecided, so I subjected my accommodating coworkers to my indecision by seeing how the specs looked on them.


Left to right, top to bottom, we have Juan, (aka Jon, in case you didn't get that) Steven, (his own chosen code name.  I tried to convince him to go with Stephen at least but he wasn't having it.  But really, what can you expect from a Steve?) Cindy-Lou-Who (my office crush), Toph, (aka asshole, naturally) Bruce, (Dominique, actually, but she was channeling Bruce Lee while wearing the specs) and Little Em, the department rock star.  

What's that?  The photo quality is grainy and sub-par?  Sorry, I can't hear you.  I have my awesome prescription-free Firmoo glasses on.



59 comments:

  1. Hey look! I'm the first to comment on one of your blog posts!
    That's all.
    Plus I think the glassed look the best on the girl with black hair and bangs. I know you listed their names but I couldn't follow who you said went where.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A lot of people have trouble following me. It's cool. And yeah, little Em looks good in everything.

      Delete
  2. Hahah that is awesome! I think firmoo contacted me, but I was lame and never responded. I need a new prescription first.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is it bad that it's taken me two months to actually DO the review? If you do need a new pair of glasses, there were a lot more frames to choose from than sunglasses.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. It's a prerequisite to work in the building.

      Delete
  4. I am, as you know, blonde, and hence, some people automatically think I am...
    ...stupid.
    So I have always kind of liked how I looked in glasses, which is, I know
    ...stupid.
    You? You look gorgeous, dah-ling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is beyond ridiculous but I have this plastic pair of glasses with no lenses that are child size that I keep at work and wear for special occasions when I need a little extra boost of self-perceived intelligence?

      Is that even a thing? Self-perceived? Damn. Where are my glasses...

      Also, you're a Dawn. You can't HELP but look good!

      Delete
  5. In high school I wore glasses I didn't need because I thought they were cute. I actually took the lenses out. haha

    You do look really cute in those.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Those guys contacted me too and I seriously considered doing it, even emailing them back - I had just lost my Bole sunglasses that I use for running/skiing, etc., so I figured it was a sign from god, or at least the interwebz, to do it. I also don't wear glasses and only wanted sunglasses but felt the same way - the limited choices all sucked. And the only ones I would have considered were over the price limit. So I said fuck it. You should have too. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really? Cause I could totally see you rocking those giant green bug-eyed shades at Burning Man. Honestly. Some people have no vision.

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. Pretty sure I never would have dropped out of college if I'd had the glasses then.

      Delete
  8. I think you should have tried the virtual try on system. You may have gotten a pair that does you justice. Or you might have figured- forget it. If you don't need the glasses, I would skip them. Screw it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Umm sorry? I'm pretty sure they're a perfect fit. Virtual try-on system's are for rookies. And I, Ms. Pixie, am certainly no rookie.
      Everyone knows you're SUPPOSED to have 27 inches of space between your eyeball and the edge of the frame.

      Delete
  9. I think they look cute! I actually need glasses so maybe I should go check them out... This whole not being able to see thing is starting to get frustrating lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I actually wore glasses, I would have been stoked and put in the time to find a pair I liked. You should contact them about doing a post so you can get a free pair. Seeing is pretty important. Usually.

      Delete
  10. Oh no, have you succumbed to hipsterism? Wearing unneeded glasses for fashion purposes? How much longer before you start wearing scarves in the Summer, ironic t-shirts, and a curly mustache? Although, they are a good look.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This made me laugh out loud. Erik actually asked me if I was going to buy a fixie and start biking to work with my backpack made out of granola and hemp.

      You're both assholes.

      Delete
  11. I wear glasses because I have to, I never understood why people would wear them if their eyesight is perfect. With that being said, they do look good on you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. After about 10 minutes, they're annoying as hell. I'm going with lasik or contacts once my eyeballs start to go.

      Delete
  12. Yeah, I never ask people who I know for their opinion. They rarely say what's on their mind.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You have too much time on your hands. Stick with making fun of people. You do look Velma with the glasses. You just need a pair of skinny jeans and a neon colored shirt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Napa. Is it time for another visit already? I have skinny jeans and I have a neon shirt. And I'll have you know I would rock the mother-hugging shit outta both of em. Bring it!!

      Delete
    2. You need a picture of that. Along with the hemp back pack and riding your bike.

      Delete
    3. I'm down. As long as we also get a picture of the bike's tread marks that will inevitably end up across your face.

      Delete
    4. You say such sweet thing's.

      Delete
    5. What's with the apostrophe? You were doing so well!

      Delete
    6. Sometimes "tacita ultio" is much better! BTW you may need to do a blog on the skinny jean, hemp back pack, neon shirt and hipster bike. I double dog dare you!

      Delete
    7. Why do I always feel like I'm talking in circles with you?

      We're done here.

      Delete
  14. Very cool blog. Interesting posts. ;)
    Nice atmosphere guests with you here on the blog. ;]
    Yours. Have a nice day. !

    Follow me on facebook fanpage and blog
    I'm very concerned about this, please. :)
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/In-another-light/413836138693856

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My ignorant self doesn't even know what language your blog is written in, but I like your taste in music and I like your pictures of smutilly water-soaked fruit. So count me in as a follower.

      Delete
  15. I've just started wearing reading glasses. I thought they looked okay until I pushed down to the end of my nose and peered over the top of them. I looked like my dad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In times like this, I've found it's best to avoid mirrors.

      Delete
  16. I have worn glasses since I was four. I tried contacts and hated them, could not STAND anything sitting on my eye. Just...ick. I own, count 'em, 7 pairs. Harry Potter ones, John Lennon ones, hornrims, bright yellow, red, green and some rainbow ones that sound hokey but are truly rad. Glasses rock.

    And I laughed out loud at the remark about the cool glasses and not so great jacket. Plus, your office co-workers are better sports than mine would ever be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Variety is the spice of life!

      That particular commenter has a personal vendetta against that particular jacket. But yeah...he has his moments of amusement. :)

      Delete
  17. What a fun post to find this morning, you had me laughing. I wish all online reviews were like this... honest to a fault! I think the idea of trying out a pair of glasses on assorted faces would be great fun, too bad we can't pass them around the blogsphere to try... and then to be brave enough to ask for FB comments... wow, what courage! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Josie! What a sweet compliment. I usually hate reading posts on reviews. They tend to sound insincere and contrived. No idea if the companies actually want an honest review. I just like free stuff.

      Delete
    2. OH! And I like your idea about passing them around. The traveling specs of the blogging sisterhood!

      Delete
  18. Perspicacious... that's the word that springs to mind.
    Okay I looked it up. HERE. But you still look absolutely and totally utterly perspicacious. Full stop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Thanks for saving me the trouble of having to look it up myself. Also, I'm not sure why, but I giggled at "Full stop".

      Delete
  19. That was fun. I think that was very cool that you got to do that. And I think you look studious, and very nice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was fun. Things are always more fun when you have others willing to participate in the silliness.

      Delete
  20. OMG!!! Whoever said Velma totally nailed it!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I may have this years Halloween costume already done.

      Delete
  21. This is my first visit to your blog! But I admire the precious time and effort you put into it,especially into interesting articles you share here. Thankyou very much and keep up the good work.
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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is your 7th visit to my blog spamming the exact same rubbish verbatim. Stop it. Just stop it!!

      Delete
  22. When glasses like that first made the scene I wasn't a fan at all. Over time though I've come to like them quite a bit. Still however those look a lot better on you than Hillary's do on here.

    Of course it could have more to do with the face underneath as well...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just google imaged "Hillary Clinton glasses".

      I shuddered.

      Delete
  23. when your time comes and you do need them you will look marvelous darling!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :) Aw shucks. But here's hoping it's still a long way off. They're annoying!

      Delete
  24. I actually like them!!! I can't believe it seems like I am in the minority!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really liked them on most of my coworkers. I thought they looked great.

      Delete