This race is 206 miles long, also known as 332km, which sounds more impressive. It's a one day race. As in, you're expected to peddle your little ass across 3 states (you cut through Idaho in case Geography isn't your thing) in ONE muther huggin day.
Now, for those of you who think I'm considering this race, don't you know me at all by now?? A friend of mine is. We'll call him....Specialized since that's the brand of bike he rides. Special for short cause everyone likes a nickname.
Special has been training for this race since September of last year and still has two months to go before the race. I'm not really sure what that means. Training, that is. I only know what my version of training is and I sorta doubt it's the same as Special's.
In my last post, I documented the 10k I ran. By "ran" I mean slogged through in a drunken stupor and by "10k" I mean we opted for the 5k shortcut. BUT! Make no mistake. I trained damn hard in preparation for this race and I picked up a few tidbits of super wise wisdom along the way that I'd like to impart to you.
Super wise tidbit #1. When it's snowing, go ahead and stay indoors, have a pizza delivered to your front door and only get up when your wine glass needs refilling. If, for some contemptible reason, you do venture out, dress appropriately.
|That's not bird shit on my head. It's a giant dollop of snow so lay off.|
Super wise tidbit #2. Wounds are oozy and gross. They don't feel good with acrid, salty, wet bodily excretions dripping into them. In the form of sweat. Bandage them accordingly. Otherwise you will bleed through your tank top and other park goers will give you a wide berth making you feel like Typhoid Mary. Plus. It stings really really bad! Or is it badly? Pickleope, a little help here?
|It's not what you think. And please ignore the wretched tat. 20+ years ago I thought it a good idea. Again, lay off!|
That's all I've got, sadly. On an unrelated note, the Six-Fingered Monkey hates Instagram. In an effort to appease his alarming animosity towards this latest trend, he's requested we post an untouched, unfiltered photo which he will do what with? I've no idea but it was late and I was inebriated when I enthusiastically commented that I was definitely in and DOWN WITH INSTAGRAM! I need to stop trolling the blogosphere after 10:00.
The following is a nightmare inducing bus stop photo that I am forced to encounter every day on my return from work. Her eyes follow me with their judgements and I want to choke her with her own cardigan. After taking the photo, I finally googled it to find out what the HELL is the problem with cat lovers. Cause E2 has a cat. And I love her.
|It's all coming together now...|