Saturday, February 4, 2012

California Christmas...and balls!

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I really suck at keeping this blog of mine up to date.  I thought it would be easier than actually hand writing everything in a journal, and since I type faster than I can write, I suppose it is.  Well that was certainly a lame way to start this post. And WOW that ad looks way bigger than I thought it would. Huh.

Anyhoo.  Christmas.  For the entire months of November and December, there was a plague-like sickness that had run rampant through the office, taking coworkers out of commission for a week at a time.  I managed to escape it, or so I thought.  It finally caught up to me the Friday we were to leave for California for Christmas vacation.  Awesome.  We were to leave after I got off work.  E2 called to see how I was doing and upon hearing my pathetic croaking voice stated, "We're not going, are we?".  He gets all twitchy and weird if he doesn't make it out of town at least once a month.  It's a disturbing sight that I wasn't willing to deal with for Christmas.  We were most certainly going.

We passed the Salt Flats on the way out of town as the sun was setting.  The lighting was gorgeous so naturally, he had to stop to get a picture.

We made it to Bishop, Ca in the middle of the night, set up camp and went to bed only to awake in the morning to shouts of "SLC represent!!".  What in the...  We'd set up camp next to a huge rock formation.  On the other side of it were four climbers from Salt Lake that Erik knew.  We spent the day bouldering with them...or rather Erik did.  I tried a few problems and was impressed with myself for reaching a whole new high (or low?) of sucking.  I felt weak and sick and lame.  I was bummed but it was still nice to be able to sit out in the sun in a t-shirt and not have to be bundled up like an overly chaste abominable snowman.  

Next day we went to Owens Valley which has the very creatively named river, Owens River.

E2 pulls over and asks "Wanna see something cool?".  Without thinking of the consequences, I respond in the affirmative.  He says "Come on!" and proceeds to trot straight up this steep trail in the hillside opposite the river.

Effing hell.  I should have known.  I start trudging along after him and am exhausted about half way up.  I turn around and look down at the river.  Welp, yeah I guess that's pretty cool.  I guess.  I still feel like crap and not gonna lie, was being kinda pissy.  I yell up to him. " I don't need to climb all the way up there to see the view.  I can see it fine from here." 

"Dawn, let's go.  You're already halfway up."

After more grumbling and muttering to myself I make it to the top where he proceeds to keep going.  I sigh and stumble along after him.  He scrabbles over a group of boulders and disappears.  He comes back down and declares we're in the right spot, and helps me up the rocks.  Basically he shoved my butt until I was pushed to the top.  I stumble out onto this huge slab of rock and gasp in delight and awe while tip toeing to the edge.  I was standing on ancient Paiute petroglyphs at least 700 years old.

It was amazing and I'm not going to tell you where to find it because then there would be more tardlings like me who end up accidentally tromping all over it and ruining it.

We also hit the Inyo National Forest to see the ancient Bristlecone Pines.  Which involved more hiking.  As always, it was worth it.

Somewhere in this forest is a Great Bristlecone Pine named Methuselah.  It's over 4,750 years old.  It's not marked to protect it from assholey vandals.  These trees were amazingly twisty and beautiful.

He also took me to see Mono Lake.  I'd never seen anything like it before or even known what a "tufa" was.  I'm not going to explain it here because honestly, I just can't be bothered.  But they're cool.

Even after seeing and learning about all of this beauty, my favorite part of the trip was soaking in the hot springs.  Mammoth hot springs maybe?  I don't know where we were at that point and E2's not here to verify.

He asked if I was up for it.  I told him I hadn't thought to pack a swim suit so I guessed not.

He just looked at me.  Blinked once.  Said, "Neither did I".


With our headlamps on, we tromped through a thin layer of snow to the hot spring.  I don't think I've ever gotten undressed so fast in my life.  It was fuh-reeeezing!!!  I climbed in and had never felt anything so deliciously blissful.  I didn't even mind that the bottom felt like I was slipping around on a layer of snot.  THAT'S how good it felt.

We had our gatorade bottle filled with wine, the milky way was perfectly situated across the sky directly above us, it was Christmas Eve and I couldn't think of anywhere else I'd have rather been.  The whole scenario was oozing with sexy time possibilities.

After a few minutes of soaking, Erik got too warm and sat up on a stone ledge to cool down.
That's when the tranquility and peace was shattered by the strangest noise.  I don't even know how to type it out.  It was kind of like a bbbbrrrruuiiiippp!

I look up at Erik.

"Did you?  Was that...?  Did you just fart??"

He at least had the decency to look sheepish while laughing, "Yeah.  It tickled my balls.  I kind of didn't want it to stop."

I couldn't not love this man if I tried.