Saturday, November 10, 2012

Some Dreams Were Always Meant to Die

This contest is seriously forcing me to post way beyond my usual slackerly comfort level.  However, about an hour ago Erik went out to measure the snow and it was at 8.5 inches and hasn't let up.  He wanted to head up to Alta to go snowboarding.  Alta is a ski resort that only allows skiers.  Which means, we lug our snowboards up the mountain ourselves and ride down.  Only to turn around and hike back up the mother huggin mountain.  I've done this with him once.  Okay, fine, twice.  And it's EXHAUSTING!  Not only am I decked out in my snowboarding boots and full on gear, I'm carrying my freaking heavy snowboard, UP A MOUNTAIN, where there is NO AIR TO BREATHE.

So I politely declined today's invitation stating I had a post to write.  For Carrie's ongoing contest for an amazingly generous prize which I'm not going to tell you because I already have once and it's too good to repeat for you lazy lazies. 

This time she had Ken from Ken-inatractor guest post for the next question.


Have you ever been on a trip or vacation that while things appeared to be going badly, something happened that changed your mind, from worst trip ever to, meh....this wasn't so bad?


And my answer is yes.  Yes I have.  End post.

*sigh*

Even though it wasn't an open-ended question, I have a feeling simply answering yes wouldn't count as an entry.  So let me elaborate.

I grew up in Canada.  Where there is no Disneyworld or Land.  When my parents informed the family we would be moving to Florida, they bribed us into submission by saying we would all be able to go to Disneyworld. 

For the next year before the move, I fell asleep dreaming of our new home in exotic Florida where we would be living in a hut on the beach, sleeping in hammocks strung up between two palm trees and being serenaded to sleep by the melodic cacophony of toucans and parrots. 

Tampa shanked that dream to death nearly the moment we arrived.  There were palm trees at least.  And I still had the promise of Disneyworld. 

The day finally arrived where we all piled into the family van.  All 6 of us.  Oh wait, Gram was with us.  All 7 of us.  In a van.  In Florida.  With no air conditioning.  While we drove for over an hour to Orlando.

It sucked.

But we made it.  Dad got us parked and we all stumbled our way to the shuttle that would take us to the tram that would take us to the gate where we waited in line to pay a month of my Dad's salary to get us all in to the happiest place on earth.

One by one we push through the turn-stile.  We walk through.  I look down Main St. and with heart pounding I gaze at Cinderella's castle for the first time in my life, convinced I just may die from excitement.  With eyes fixed on the glorious, majestic spires, I start to make my way down Main St. in a dazed, dream-like state. 



And then I hear it.

The wet splatter of vomit hitting cobblestone.

I whip around just in time to witness my youngest sister, doubled over, retching up another round of her breakfast.

We all shuffle back through the turn-stile, to the gate, back on the tram, that took us to the shuttle that dumped us off at the parking lot where we all piled into the stifling van for the dejected hour ride back home. 

There's no "meh, that wasn't so bad".  Because it was.  This is the end of the story.  But the prompt reminded me of this family adventure just in time for Thanksgiving dinner at the parentals.  Where my youngest sister will be.

I think I'll take her a barf bag with mickey ears.





 

32 comments:

  1. What!?! That was it? You all just gave up and left? Throw her diseased carcass in the back, crack a couple of windows and get to Mr. Toad's! But also, I would LOVE and proudly display a barf bag with Mickey ears on it. Also, I think this is the same as the plot to the new Star Wars (current event joke. Thank you, that's a bit from my monologue.)

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    1. Gram actually did ask if she couldn't just wait in the van. My parents said no. Suspicions of her always being the favorite were confirmed this day.

      I googled the Mickey ears barf bag but apparently it's an untapped market.

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  2. If you so much as mention Disney anything in your smarmy fashion during Thanksgiving dinner I will find a way to projectile vomit all over that pretty little smirk of yours.

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    1. I'm seriously bouncing up and down with glee and giggling like a maniacal seahorse.

      Remind me to charge my camera Wednesday night.

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  3. What a sad (but funny for us to read) tale of an outing gone way wrong! It brought to mind an evening car trip in winter to a town an hour away to shop for Christmas dresses for my sisters and I. I told mom after school, before we headed out, that I wasn't feeling good and had a stomach ache. But we needed those dresses and so we were hearded into the car. The motion, coupled with the lovely toxic cloud of two parental smoking units, did the trick, and before we were half-way there I vomited on the floor in the back seat. A warmly heated car, on a cold winter night, with closely packed kids, and smelling of vomit... just gross. Somehow we got the the trip, found dresses and made it home, with Mom feeling at least a bit bad that she hadn't paid better attention when I told her I didn't feel good! Not a fun travel memory for sure. PS - definitely getting a kick out of that "anonymous" commenter's response up there! :-)

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    1. Oh GAH!!!! On the bright side, you didn't throw up on the dresses. And yeah, I always get a kick out of "anonymous". She makes me laugh.

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  4. Damn siblings! Damn damn siblings! But, did you NEVER go back?

    .....And who the heck would ever want to leave Canada for Florida? Well, maybe me, it's freakin cold here today.

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    1. Yeah!!!! Damn them all! *said with pitchfork raised high* We did go back eventually and it was amazing and magical and vomit-free.

      Excellent question. Middle Sister actually just moved back to the Mother Land a couple of years ago and holed up in Nova Scotia. In fact, you two are probably neighbors since you're in Canada too!

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  5. Oh, that's the worst Disney story I've ever heard! Darn your sister! Were you guys able to get your money back or get rainchecks or something?

    Ha ha, it's so funny, we're all angry at your sister for ruining your trip, when she was the one who was sick! No sympathy in bloggerland :)

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    1. Hell if I remember. I was a kid. The only detail I worried about was NOT getting to ride the teacups I'd been dreaming about for over a year.

      HA! I know! And she's the baby of the family who would have loved it the most and been the most excited to be there.

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  6. Are you serious??? Did your dad at least get his money back? I sure hope so.

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    1. Yeah, I'm sure he did. Actually I totally made that up. I have NO idea.

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  7. Well I am glad that you are being stretched beyond your limits to post more frequently because I am enjoying the heck out of reading your stories!

    And you're welcome. (for getting you out of snowboarding...that would be the third level of hell for me. Hell isn't necessarily hot and fire-y. It can also be frostbite cold, wet and bone chilling. I am convinced.)

    I think if I were to give awards on best worst experience ever, this. This would be it. Having just been to Disneyworld (actually the other parks encompassing Disney - we didn't ever make it to THE Disneyworld) for last New Year's, and knowing the process it takes to get there, to schlepp your bodies and stuff into and around 30,000 of your closest friends (and on New Year's Eve, that number greatly increases) and all is no easy feat. That your family made the journey in an unair-conditioned van IN FLORIDA, walked through the gates and that was it....wow. You win saddest/most pitiful story ever.

    So I want to know - did you ever go back?

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    1. Sister owes ya a trip to see Mickey! Hee hee!

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    2. Oh and if you win the contest, you could go to Disney! ;-)

      Okay, I'll quit blowing up your comment feed.

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    3. 3 comments on one post. This looks like something I would do. :) Disneyworld on New Years sounds like my version of hell. Holy crap. All those PEOPLE!

      It really was pitiful. We did go back eventually but it didn't lesson the disappointment that day.

      Instead of her owing me a trip, I'd rather my Sister take her 3 kids to Disney. Go through all the trauma of getting them all there, and then have her youngest barf all over everyone. Actually typing that out, I wouldn't want that to happen at all. Meh. I think her being a Mother of three is probably pay back enough.

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    4. I was calling you the devil as i read this. Glad you came to your senses.

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  8. I can't believe they didn't take her back to a hotel and let the rest of you enjoy Disney! WTF. This is child abuse and I would have called protective services on them.

    P.S. I'm the youngest and I threw up on my sister in the backseat of the car in Florida. But I never prevented her from going to Disney World.

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    1. If only I'd known about protective services back then. ;)

      That's because YOU had standards and knew where to draw the line.

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  9. You need to buy some fake vomit and put it on her plate for Thanksgiving. Then put the Mickey barf bag next to the plate. That is an awesome story.

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    1. Perhaps. Although with that newborn of hers, she probably sees her share of vomit as it is.

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  10. Well, I like this contest, because you are one writin' m-effer lately, and I SO enjoy your stuff. Like reading about your boob sweat and mucus and sista-barf.
    My kinda people, that's you.

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    1. I like to stick to the hard-hitting journalism type of shiz. You know, the stuff that really makes a difference in the every day lives of my fellowman.

      Good grief. Why do people even READ this??

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  11. That's a wonder story. I love your stories.

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  12. That is terrible!! I think that would turn Disney World into the most miserable place on earth...you poor thing!

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    1. I KNOW! So obnoxiously inconsiderate of my Sister to ruin the day for all of us. We probably weren't paying enough attention to her or placating her with enough pudding cups.

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  13. Wow, I was all prepared to tell you that I had a worse story than yours, but then your sister puked and you had to live right after walking into Disneyland for the first time. The closest I can come is a beach trip my parents took us on in El Paso, Texas. It turns out there is no beach in El Paso, just lots and lots of scorching hot sand. I can running over the dune to the next one thinking any minute now I'll reach the ocean. Nope. No ocean. No water. Not even a puddle. It was just freakin' hot.

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    1. What the hell kind of mean trick is THAT? Come on kids! We're going to the worst "beach" in the world. Enjoy your heat stroke!

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  14. For the record, I can never remember the difference between Disneyland and Disneyworld. Know why? Cause I've never been there, that's why. :-)

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    1. Disneyworld is Florida (and better IMO). Disneyland is California. For all my complaining I'm a very lucky girl. I've been fortunate enough to go to both numerous times.

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  15. I am following you! Love you blog!!

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