Saturday, February 18, 2012

I can't think of a relevant post title and I just don't wanna do this anymore right now.

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Last weekend we headed four hours South to St. George.  I was sick.  Again.  But it was okay because I was ready.  I had a brand new box of 12 hour Sudafed, two bags of cough drops (both of which I devoured) and I could see the sun!

Sure, I was a loopy space cadet the whole time and had turned into one of those creepy mouth breathers, but I was in a tank top!  In February!  I even had to put sun block on.

This is not me.

Who cares that had my life depended on me actually completing a boulder problem I would be a rotting corpse in the desert this very moment.  Or the fact that while hiking back out we came across a pair of climbing shoes exactly like mine that someone had thoughtlessly discarded and forgotten in the sand.  And how odd, they're my size too.  As I was thinking we should probably prop them up on a boulder by the path so the owner could find them Erik says, "Really Ginger?  You left your shoes here?"

Oh.  So I did.  I don't do well on cold medicine.

Then there was that little incident with the fire.  It's always my job to chop the wood and get the fire started while E2 makes dinner.  By the time he's done with dinner, he'll chop up the remaining pieces I couldn't.  After hacking away for 10 minutes, I had yet to even get a piece of kindling but I did manage to keep all appendages intact.

He took care of the wood (heh heh. that doesn't make sense) and I searched for something to burn.  I grabbed the first thing I found.  Our roll of toilet paper which was perfectly flammable and worked like a charm.  It was a super good fire and I was thoroughly impressed with myself.  Erik, upon seeing what I'd done remarked, "You seriously just burned up our only roll of toilet paper?".

Oh.  So I did.  I really don't do well on cold medicine.

After dinner and a couple of drinks, it was time to clean up and go to sleep...finally!  Erik is talking about...honestly I don't even know what he was talking about.  I just remember hearing this odd whistling sound.  I interrupted him to ask if he could hear it.  What the hell IS that?
I hold my breath to try to hear better.      
I exhale.  THERE IT IS!
Me: "Did you hear it?"
E2: "Really Ginger?"
Me: "What?"

I really don't do well on cold medicine and Erik is an ass.

In other news, the hilariously entertaining Mrs. Tuna passed along the Charlie Sheen Seal of Win.
And while she admittedly drinks her white wine over ice, I realize that no one is perfect and that minor flaw is well worth looking past because she more than makes up for it with her wit, sarcasm and deliciously tempting recipes that I will never in my life attempt but they really do sound fabulous.

While I'm sure this one probably has rules as well, I'm going to go ahead and make up my own again for the sake of time because it's Saturday afternoon and the sun is out on a day when I'm not stuck in my cubicle and how am I spending this time?  Cross-legged on the couch in front of my laptop.  This just feels wrong and I kinda feel like I need to go to confession which would probably count even more since I'm not even Catholic.  What?  I'm losing my train of thought.

Random facts about me:

1.  On the day I got married I had black Frankenstein stitches on my right forearm which CLEARLY made me a total bad ass but my Mom insisted I cover them with a bandage for the wedding pictures.  I'm now convinced this one poor decision was the absolute downfall of my marriage. 

2.  I once punched a guy at a party so hard I'm pretty sure I gave him internal bleeding.  He posted a picture on my fb wall the next day.  His girlfriend didn't/still doesn't like me.  Go figure.

3.  In fact, I'm going to use said picture for random fact #3 and if you think that's cheating, you can go screw yourself because dammit, I like pictures!

Passing this along to 3 other blogs I love:

1. Sandra at Absolutely Narcissism.  She writes about her training for her upcoming bikini competition, and vaginas, and pooing, and penises...I'm a little in love with this woman and you should be too.

2. Katie at Chicken Noodle Gravy.  She's painfully honest about life and how different things in her life affect her which causes one to consider they're own life and feelings.  Normally my motto is "feelings are for suckers!" but we all know that's not true and Katie helps me remember to try to act like an adult every so often and try that inner reflection thing.

3. DWei at I am such a Derp.  He's a struggling university student, he's stressed, we don't want him developing an ulcer so early in his young life so hopefully a totally relevant and massively important blog award will be just the pick-me-up he needs.

I guess this is the end of my post.  I suppose this means I need to get off my ass and go outside now.


  1. Holy frick. Remind me never to mess with you. Not only will you burn my only roll of toilet paper, but you can do some damage with those punches of yours.

  2. Holy shit, do you have baseball bat arms because it looks like you punched him with a bat, repeatedly. Hope you're feeling loads better. You're a way cooler sick person than I am. I just lay in bed and sleep and tell everyone to fuck off.

  3. dahum girl, I don't want you to punch me....

  4. What the hell did you punch him with, your car? And I want some of your cold medicine.

  5. Alyx- I suppose now would be a good time to mention I did offer my extra t-shirt to E2 the next morning after his coffee. Shouldn't that count for something?

    Jordan- Okay, I'll admit it was more than one punch. And they were instigated by comments such as "you hit like a girl".

    Georgie Horn- I never will. Girl Scouts honor! And even though I was never a girl scout, that totally counts!

    Tony- Just my angry fists of fury. I'm willing to share, as long as you promise not to cook any meth with it since I did have to sign my life away for it.

  6. Congrats on the award! And...ouch.

  7. I am the exact same way on Sudafed. That stuff is powerful!

  8. Congrats on the award and thanks for passing it along to me! I now have the urge to break out into the song "feelings!" But I will resist that urge for the sake of my 3 cats and hubby.

    If we ever get to hang out, I'm totally bringing some Sudafed for ya. Just because it'll crack me up.

    Hope you're feeling better! And glad there wasn't any loss of limbs in St. George.

  9. Haha. I'm glad you explained that you actually punched the guy in the picture, because otherwise it looked like he had VERY asymmetric hair growth. Remind me to never fight you! :o)

  10. Hey Ginger. You really don't do well on cold medicine. ;) Makes for a funny-azz post, though.
    I love how - when you're not sick, anyway - you take care of the wood. (TWSS) ;)

  11. Gia- Thanks and he had no one to blame but himself. And me.

    Lucy- It is. Too bad you have to trade off breathing for thinking.

    Katie- Oh hell! I'd probably wrap your cats in toilet paper then try to blow my nose with them. Actually, sounds like fun. Let me know when you're in Salt Lake!

    Minxy- When I first saw it after he posted it, I thought it was a really bad, patchy, glued on fake beard...or something.

    Dawn- Am I the only one who thinks it's odd that for the last 8 months or so he's been calling me "Ginger" as if that's my name?
    And yeah, I like taking care of the wood. That there's women's work! You crack me up. Wait...TWSS? I'm not hip with the cool kid lingo. Translation?

  12. Did you wipe your asses with a cactus?

  13. BamaTrav- You'd be surprised how well they can scrape. Ya know, once you cut the prickles off. Obvi.

  14. I'm glad you followed me home from Narcissim's blog (I'm assuming) because you are funny. I mean, aside from punching that guy so hard his spleen appears to have burst. But then, who sends a photo like that and why is he so hairy and gross? So you burned the only roll of toilet paper to start a fire? How much cold medicine did you take exactly?

  15. Er, Narcissism's blog, I mean.

    "TWSS" - That's What She Said

  16. Awww... Thanks for the award. :D

  17. Congrats on the award AND your awesome fists of fury! I need to take some lessons from you! lol You're one tough chick :0)

  18. I don't care what anyone else says I know that third photo wasn't really you.

  19. EP- I don't remember where I followed you from but I saw the title of your blog in someone's blog roll and I thought it was funny. Had to check it out. :) He sent it to prove that not all Canadians are peace loving pacifists. As far as the amount of cold medicine I took, I plead the 5th. And thanks for the translation. Never would have gotten that!

    DWei- Well you betcha!

    Elisabeth- Not really. Most people just aren't dumb enough to allow someone to repeatedly hit them while calling them girlie.

    BB- You're absolutely right. It wasn't me. I would have at least taken the time to shave my before having my picture taken. XD

  20. Wow you got that guy good there. Congrats on the award and I hope you're feeling better.

  21. I haven't gotten a cold in 13 years, but that doesn't stop me from drinking cold medicine. Oh, the sleep you get. However, I usually drink that before bed, and not before doing, well, anything. How you even managed to function is beyond me.

  22. I like how you blame the meds.

    What the hale is going on around here? I don't recognize the place. I keep bumping into things.

  23. That bruise is heinous yet badass all at once.

  24. Um totally good for you going out in the wilderness with a cold. If my nose was a whistle I would've curled up into fetal position and hid in under my bed so no one could make me do anything. When I grow up I want to be just like you.
    (PS I've been absent from the bloggy world for a while and I'm trying to catch up on a bunch of blogs that I was reading before I disappeared. So far you've made me lol twice while catching up on yours. Good work.)

  25. it must have taken a million punches coming from you if your little sister can pin u down to dangle spit over your face in retaliation. You've really got everyone fooled though. ;)


  26. I would have thought that guys food baby would have protected him from your vicious blows.

    You genuinely have fits of steel.

  27. Mark- I'm looking into anger management. No, actually, I'm not.

    ABFTS- 13 years??? You officially no longer qualify as human.

    Wow- Shhh shh sh.
    Remind me to never bother trying to change anything again. What a pain in the ass!

    Tonya- Is it weird that I'm taking both adjectives as a compliment?

    Tricia- Well when you do grow up, let me know what it's like. Glad to see you back and it makes me happy that you lol'd. :)

    Littlest Spaz- You were on the swim team. You had muscles. Big effing deal! Well guess what? I could totes take you now. And just TRY getting away with that pregnant belly of yours. Oh yeah. You're going down! Baby and all! *sigh* kay. You could probably still pin me down. Happy?

    Cranface- That was actually a beer baby. They're way more pliable than a food baby so it offered much less protection.

  28. I hope the cold meds made you forget how you 'hygienically' wiped yourself after burning your tp...ewwww

  29. Wow. I am ridiculously impressed with the proof of punch. And the punch in general. I also thought it was a weird growth of hair, and had to examine the picture pretty closely to figure out what the hell I was actually looking at.