Sunday, July 17, 2011

It's Cool Cause I'm Super Good At Other Things.

Okay!  You know what?  I get it!!  I can't cook and/or bake.  After my last post, a couple of people that know me outside of the blogosphere, were kind enough to remind me of a previous epic baking failure, from a YEAR ago, the memory of which I had managed to shove to the back recesses of my mind along with such useless memories like algebra and the entire German poem Die Lorelei.

Die schönste Jungfrau sitzet dort oben wunderbar
ihr goldnes Geschmeide blitzet sie kämmt ihr goldenes Haar.

Such a melodic, flowing language.

Back to the cookies.  I burned them, okay?  Big deal.  I'll bet if I had just scraped the bottoms they would have been fine.  I don't even remember why I thought baking cookies was a good idea.  Another stupid potluck no doubt.  I can't think of any other reason to voluntarily take on such an endeavor.

And yes, it's been pointed out that I used a cake pan instead of a cookie sheet.  You bakers and your semantics.
On more than one occasion I'll show up to work with some story about my latest moronic escapade and my dear friend and confidant confidence sucking asshole of a coworker Jack will ask, yet again, "Soo, what exactly are you any good at?  Can you do anything?  Why exactly is E2 dating you?"  It's such a good thing I have a healthy self esteem.  So, I've decided to list some things that I'm super good at and make me awesome.

1. Flossing.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Oral hygiene is not to be taken lightly.  People judge you by your teeth.  You only get one set.  Take care of them people!  So yeah, I'm super good at flossing.

2.  Some people think I'm funny.  I have proof!  Caffeinated OC Mommy was awesome enough to mention me in her blog so I'm returning the love.  Her most recent post where she talks about crack-o-lanterns had me giggling and shuddering all at once.  Kinda like a really good pee shiver, only better!  So yeah, she's awesome.  And she thinks I'm funny.  Booyah!!

3.  I can type 88 wpm.  At least that was the best score I got taking the typing test at work on Friday instead of filing like I should have been doing.  And yeah, it was after my third try and I had 5 mistakes but still...
You know what?  Shut up!

4.  I'm also super good at realizing when to quit when I'm not enjoying something.  Such as making stupid, pointless lists that require self reflection and may or may not put a small dint in my incredibly healthy, impenetrable self esteem JAKE YOU DICK!!  Oops, I mean Jack.  Ah well, looks like your covers blown now.  *shrug*