Another couple has crossed over to that dark underworld of marriage. And it was by far the most fun weekend celebration of doom I've ever experienced. Key elements that will ensure the wedding to be a smashing success are as follows in order of importance:
- Liquor. Free and in abundance. Even the most bitchy and catty of table companions will mellow out and realize I'm only talking to your husband now because you have pointedly ignored me and my attempts at conversation for the last 30 minutes of dinner. Is it MY fault you decided to pull your hair back so tight it's narrowed your eyes and made you look like you're permanently squinting? Is it MY fault your husband keeps checking out our server's cleavage when your own is so prominently on display? Is it MY fault you have yet to lose the baby weight from your last child...who is now FOUR? You're in Laguna Beach for hell's sake! Have another drink and enjoy it! Which brings me to number two.
- Location. Which would you prefer? Someplace warm and sunny with an ocean you can go kayaking in and have curious little seals swimming around you wanting to play and watch the pelicans gliding overhead that sure, pooped midair and splattered you on the forehead but whatev's it wiped off easily enough and did I mention there's an ocean? OR. A wedding in someplace like South Dakota where you can...I don't even know what. My coworker has a theory that SD doesn't even exist because really, have you ever actually MET anyone who lives there, is from there, or has been there? I think he may be onto something.
- An awesomely cool couple who really do love each other and are excited to voluntarily spend the rest of their lives together. I know you would think this should be a given at a wedding but you would be wrong.
I've already grown bored making this list so I'll stop at three. Best not to overdo it. Just going to put up a few pics from the weekend wedding bonanza and call it good.
|Lawn bowling + a never-ending margarita fountain = flawless form.|
|The gorgeous bride in her sparkly white wedding dress waiting for our shuttle.|
|The bride and groom after the ceremony.|
|Let's pause for a moment while I talk about this dress.|
|The Best? Man and E2|
I don't dance. I'm white, self-conscious and without fail end up doing a totally horrific combination of the running man mixed with the sprinkler. Therefore, I don't dance. Usually. EXCEPT on occasions when there are people on the dance floor like this:
|Dude ready to puke, a Mexican wanting to fist and a sloppy drunk in a fro. Bust a move boys!|
|I love Lane's face in this one. Some serious Blue Steel!|
|The man in the fro? Father of the Bride. How awesome is that?|
|Blurred vision. It was time to call it a night.|
The next day we had a few hours before E2 had to take me to LAX to catch my flight home. There are no beaches in Utah, unless you count the Great Salt Lake and enjoy the aromatic scents of sulfur and brine shrimp. So we walked down to the beach to try to get our fill until the next time.
|Please. No comments about how I got crabs at Laguna Beach.|
|Cute, isn't he?|
|Sunset. I'm ready to go back now, okay?|