I spend a lot of my life at work. With the same people day in and day out. This can be a very bad thing. This can be a very bad thing if you work with people like Toph. The same Toph, if you recall, who tried to murder me with this apple. Sometimes he makes me laugh until I cry. Most of the time, he makes me want to punch him in his face until his asshole bleeds. If that is an actual physical possibility, I do not know. But I'd be willing to volunteer Toph and participate in a study. Purely for scientific purposes, naturally.
I had a question about an e-mail I received. I called him for clarification. He said he wasn't sure what I was talking about and said "I'll be right over".
Me: No. You really don't need to come over here. Just answer the question.
T: Oh, it's not a problem, I'll be right there.
Me: Don't come over here! I don't want you in my space.
He'd already hung up and was making his way into my personal space. I had woken up late this morning, thrown on wrinkled clothes that I found on the floor of the closet, brushed my teeth and went to work. I did not brush my hair, hadn't bothered to apply so much as chapstick on my face, and hadn't even had a sip of coffee yet. I pretty much spend the first half of every morning looking like I'm hungover, even when I'm not.
T: You look nice today.
Me: Shut the hell up and just answer the question.
T: You know, only if I were single, drunk, blind and dosed on Roofalin, would I be on that. You know what you should do? You know what I think would make you pretty?
Me: I don't give a shit what you think.
Toph: How have you not been snatched up? I'm thinking of a word. It starts with B and ends in itch.
Me: Okay, you're done. You have 2 seconds before I stab you in the crotch with my heel.
Toph: You're so pretty when you're pissed off.
Me: You're a complete waste of space.
Toph: Go fuck yourself.
As he turns to leave I say "That went well". He replies with "Welcome to work".
Later on that day I accidentally nudged my keyboard out of it's usual position and noticed a white letter painted on my desk. What the? I pick up my keyboard to find the following message.
I simply can't imagine who put that there.