Monday, October 31, 2011

A Halloween Sexy Time Vlog plus apology

I've always loved Halloween.  Not only is Halloween during my favorite season of the year, it's socially acceptable for you to dress up in any way your little heart desires.  Guys get to dress up as the super heroes they've idolized since they were boys and the women get to whore it up like the slutty little barbies we grew up with.  What a glorious time of year!  And yeah, you'll still be judged for it, but perhaps just a little less harshly than the rest of the year.  Perhaps not.

A few photos from Halloween's past to better explain my infatuation...

How do you say "classy" in vampire?
I don't remember exactly what was going on here but I remember it was a lot of fun.  And that's what Halloween is all about.  Well, not historically speaking but I think the pagans of long ago would really be proud to see what we've done with their religious celebration.

Rubber mouth?

Me and the Douche bag.
No.  Really.  I'm not being a jerk.  He dressed up as a douche bag.  Notice the fake tan.  The sculpted eyebrows.  The puka shell necklace.  The skin tight t-shirt.  The excessive tattoos.  Oh, wait.  Those were real.  Welp.  Whatever, it's Halloween.  Dress as you wish.  Just be prepared for the inevitable backlash.

You may recognize Candito from the previous dildo vlog.  She has no shame either. 
I still don't understand how I was so misunderstood this year.  Marie Antoinette?  The dead version?  Really people?  COME ON!

It was SO obvious!  Whatever.
So, I love Halloween and I love dressing up.  This year?  Not so much.  Know why?  Two words.  Angry birds.  I'll explain further and post pictures later as I'm heading out the door to go to Zions National Park on a mother hugging 9 mile hike and don't have time to do much more right now.  I'll set this to post on Halloween since we won't be around and just hope it actually posts.  Or be secretly glad if it doesn't.
Yeah.  Amazingly enough, after our last train wreck of a vlog, Eden Fantasys asked us to review another product.  No drink mixers this time.  Oh no.  We've moved on to sensual intimacy kits.  And oh yeah.  There's another professionally filmed and edited vlog to go with it.  Be excited.  Be very excited.  Orrrr hit the little red X in your top right hand corner of the screen now.  Really.  I won't blame you.  We didn't charge the camcorder enough so we had to use the laptop to record again.  Which means....yep.  It sucks.  But hey!  Now you know where to go to get sex toys that you can have delivered to your work place without suspicion.  And for THAT, you're welcome.



  1. You do go all out. Was that suicidal Marie Antoinette? I also love that you curse with aplomb and review sex kits but then use "mother lovin'". Excited to hear the Angry Birds explanation. Your costume is cleverer than just a store bought version.

  2. My first thought was not Marie Antoinette, but it was decapitated French Renaissance vampire. Your title is better. Happy SpOOOOOky Day (as my kids are saying this year)!

  3. Girl you be looksesin good.

  4. Angry eyebrows AND a dildo? Man, it looks like you had a kick-ass Halloween!

  5. Common parlance for that 'douchebag' look these days is known as being a "Guido" (a Jersey Sore influence, no doubt)

  6. Nice to see you back. The lip synching was all out of alignment with the sound on that video. It was like watching a weird spaghetti western.

  7. Single finger lube application and bicycle pumps for condoms...I've been doing it all wrong! Happy Halloween!

  8. Another Angry Bird victim. Will it never end?

  9. Nate and I really enjoy watching your "sex tapes." :)

  10. Another impressive piece of work. I can't believe I watched the whole mother luvin thing.

    By the way, the best hike I ever took was up the Virgin River in Zion. Hiking in water 90% of the time with towering canyon walls closing in on you was a fabulous experience.

  11. I love your posts!!!
    And the picture with you and your douche bag has got to be my favorite! You are so pretty!!!

  12. The Narrows at Zion was my absolute favorite place I've ever vacationed!! :)

    *And I love your videos.. I get so in informed! :)

  13. Love your sex toy vlogs-hilarious!

    And I totally got your costume haha nice job and enjoy your hike :-)

  14. Dakota Kitty- It's always a good time. :)

    Pickleope- This made me laugh. You've got a point. Although I don't recall using Mother lovin. When was that?

    Joshua- I could go with that. It was better than what some of the other people were coming up with. Happy belated spooky day to you as well. I'm totally stealing that for next year. Thank your kids. :)

    Nixabn- It's the eyebrows isn't it? Yep. Gets em every time!

    ABFTS- It definitely kicked my ass but not for reasons one would think.

  15. Eric- Oh yes! You are absolutely correct. That picture is a couple of years old. Was the Jersey Shore plague happening back then?

    Tony- You know, I have yet to see one of those. We did apologize in the beginning of the video for the crappy sound but the sound was so crappy you couldn't hear us apologizing for the crappy sound. It's a vicious cycle.

    Padded Cell Princess- That made me laugh when she did that. I totally pictured her poking her husband like that during their sexy time. Inappropriate for sure but it couldn't be helped. Happy Halloween to you as well!

    Doug Stephens- Fingers crossed for a quick and painless annihilation.

    Wee Ash- I just ask that you be responsible and respectful and don't watch them in front of Bear. Miss you guys.

  16. Wow- I think you and I have a different understanding of the word impressive. I feel like I should give you a prize or something for making it through. How bout a condom filled with melted ice? And what's with mother luvin? Did I say that?
    That hike, the Narrows I'm assuming, is one of my favorite hikes. I've only done it twice but I've loved it every time. That's awesome you've been there.

    Punk- I love that you love my posts but it does leave me to question your tastes just a smidge. ;) You're a sweetheart. It's pretty awesome what some fake eyelashes and makeup applied with a spatula can do for a gal. Thanks for the ego boost.

    KSK- You've been there too?? I don't know why but I get so excited when other people have been to these places and love them as much as I do. :) Please note smiley face for added happy emphasis. And if you're getting your sexy time information from me, I'll send your husband a sympathy card. It's the least I can do.

    Amanda- I keep waiting for the angry e-mail from eden fantasys telling me "thats NOT what we meant when we asked you to review our shiz". Cause they would totally use the word shiz.
    And the hike. Oi vey! I'm barely walking today.

    Griffin!!!! Where ya been??

  17. That was a pretty stellar review.

    And I like "guys get to dress up as their heroes" because I went as Mayhem.

    I think you're onto something.

  18. Haha, ok I have to go back and watch the video another time when it won't be so bad and loud on the TV. But, can I just say that you are smoking as the vintage pin up girl! LOVE the costume, all of them really. You really went all out. Makes it more fun that way :)

  19. It's so nice, coming here for all my dildo review needs.
    Heh-heh- coming. :)

  20. Hi, new follower from the Friendly Friday hop,
    Hope you can drop by, say hello and follow back, Thanks.

  21. Nah, not the eyebrows, I believe it's near perfect proportions of the thighs to the calf to the ankle part. :D

  22. Well, we all now know about your gag reflex.

    p.s. Totally love all the costumes.

    p.p.s. For the love of vlogs, can you please get a new computer that syncs your sound?? or not, maybe that would take away from the cinematic splendour.

    Loved this :)

  23. Caleb- You dressed as Mayhem? As in the allstate commercials? What am I missing here?

    Texa- Let me save you the trouble. We misuse a sex kit and make a mess all over a coworkers desk. Huh. That sounds worse than it actually was. And thanks. I had fun as a pinup girl for a night. :)

    Dawn- You are such a dork! Clearly one of the reasons you're so awesome.

    Kelly- Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a personalized comment. I'll be sure to return the favor.

    Nixabn- Your comment just made me hungry for some fried chicken. Time to google the closest KFC.

    TriGirl- For the love of vlogs!! You crack me up. And yes. It was awful...again. Candice actually brought her camcorder to use this time but forgot to charge it. We were SO close!

  24. I'm here from Comment Love on FTLOB! I love your costume! That stinks that Angry Birds tried to ruin your fun. I was told recently by a kindergartener that I have Angry Bird they're ruining my life too! Haha!

  25. I sure did. "I'm your blind spot. I'm the raccoon living in your attic."

    Tons of fun, because I could just drink whiskey, get ornery, and say all of my shenanigans were merely a part of my costume. Perfect.

  26. Jamie Lane- Angry bird eyebrows?? Kids are awesome and little turds all in one. Thanks for stopping by!

    Caleb- It all makes sense now and is somehow so very fitting for you. Pictures soon, I hope?

  27. I love your dead Marie Antoinette! I didn't get it at first, but as soon as you said it... haha. You have great costume ideas for sure. And the douche bag definitely looked like a super douche. I was relieved to find out it was in fact a costume.