Sunday, October 2, 2011

Dirty Girl

It's true.  I'm a dirty girl.  More often than not, my mind goes straight to the gutter when even the most innocent comments are uttered.  Heh.  Uttered.  Uddered.  Boobs.  *sigh*  Does this fall under the category of character flaw?  I suppose it's time I admit that immaturity and a love of sophomoric humor and fart jokes will always be my Achilles heel.  So be it.

Anyhoo, this post is about a more literal kind of dirty.  Last weekend I "ran" my first 5K.  And I LOVED it.  It was the Dirty Dash.  A 5K mud obstacle course race.  Months ago when I mentioned to E2 that I might do this he just laughed and said "Yeah, right.  You?  Run?" 

Asshole.

I told my parents about it.  My Dad thought the idea was great.  My Mom, with more than a hint of disdain in her voice said  "Oh.  So basically it's a wet t-shirt contest but with mud."

Huh?  What?  No Mom.  It's nothing like a wet t-shirt con...ya know, just..nevermind.

My coworker/friend Erin got a team together (Nor-folk-n-chance.  How awesome is that name?) and ordered us all matching, painfully bright, t-shirts.  Under normal circumstances say no to day-glow, but in this case it helped us keep track of each other.  At least for the first 5 minutes of the race, before it looked like we'd all been dipped in a toilet full of runny poo.

I want to post different pictures of the whole team, but I didn't ask anyone's permission and I'm pretty sure that's against the law or something and I don't wanna end up in jail.  I don't look good in orange and I don't typically befriend people with names like Big Bertha.  I'm kind of a snob like that.  So I'm just going to post a team picture of the end of the race where everyone is covered in mud and basically unidentifiable anyway and hope that doesn't count.  Except for Erin's dog Zero.  I'm posting a couple of him because he's a dog and we all know animals don't get or deserve any kind of animal rights or protection of any sort.  Am I right??

So, in typical narcissistic fashion, this post will be about me.  Let's get started.

Pristine and clean before the race.  Loved Zero's paw bands.

The cleanliness was short-lived.


This was the moment things went downhill fast.  I tried to take out Erin, slipped, and barely managed to keep my head above mud.  Her boyfriend and fellow teammate called it instant Karma.  Oh how I hate that bitch.  Karma, that is.  


So much better than any slip 'n slide.  However, a little tip you would assume to be self evident, keep your mouth closed.

I'm not British.  I just don't follow my own tips. 


Proof that there WAS some actual running involved.  My shoes felt like 5 pound bricks at this point.


Yes, that is a knee high mud pit.  Jealous yet? 


Nor-folk-n-chance in all our nasty glory at the finish line. 

I'm not gonna lie.  Cleanup was a bitch.  I'm still blowing mud out of my nose, I think my left ear is permanently clogged with mud and my shoes will never be the same.  I can't wait for next year!

I wonder if anyone could tell that I peed in the last mud hole?

52 comments:

  1. Dirty looks good on you. Seriously, you look hot. That looks like a lot of fun! Well done!

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  2. This looked like brilliant fun. I remember playing rugby in the rain, we would compete to see who could get the muddiest. Very homoerotic.

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  3. Ahh that looks like so much fun! Wow! And puppy! haha So cute. I want to do something like this. It looks like a blast.

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  4. Holy Shit! That looks like so much fun! How liberating it must be to roll around in mud! I'd got to add that to my "to do" list!!

    Thanks for stopping by my blogg and commenting. I thought a concert in a synagogue was weird too but the sound was great!

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  5. You MILF YOU!!! Oh wait VV Darling, you're not a Mommy... I'll make you an honorary MILF!! lol Cups Up to you my Dear and congrats on making mud look SO HOT! xoxo

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  6. Wow, lol. Congrats on making that mud WORK.

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  7. People pay a lot of money for mud baths, right? You got one whilst exercising. I would echo the "you make mud look good" sentiment if you hadn't mentioned the "dipped in runny poo" comment. Delightfully disgusting as I think we all know and love about you.

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  8. Ha! I bet your shower looked like someone had one of the worst belly aches ever. You look fabulous, mud and all.

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  9. From cover girl to mud-covered girl. It looks like fun, except the clean-up part.

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  10. It's no wonder you can't cook. You can't have it all, Miss I-Look-Good-Covered-In-Mud. ;)

    Looks like it was a blast.

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  11. How fun! And you looked great in mud!!

    Happy Sunday!

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  12. The knee high mud picture is half of the male fantasy. The other half would be if one of your well uddered teammates was there with you, staring longingly at you right before commencing wrestling.

    Just sayin'.

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  13. Thanks for following....great comment...following back...yes unfortunately...bills must come before holiday spending...have a great week...

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  14. Hahaha! How fun!!! Your slip-n-slide photo looks like Zero is using you as a surf board...how awesome would that have been!?!

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  15. You sexy, sexy, ginger minx! Is it wrong that that looks like THE MOST FUN EVER? I'd totally do a mud 5K. I've been toying with maybe doing a regular one next spring but mmm. I'm lazy. My running is contained on a treadmill where I can sweat and swear in private. But MUD? I'd do that. Fricking awesome!

    WELL DONE! Hope your ear unclogs soon and that you find it was clogged with gold nuggets. (huh?)

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  16. That seriously looks like SO MUCH FUN!!

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  17. How awesome! I think that covered in mud should be the *only* way to run! :)

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  18. That is absolutely spectacular. The shot of your face and shoulders where only half your face is (mostly) untouched is fantastic.

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  19. Oh wow! That looks like so much fun!!

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  20. Nice job! That looks like fun! The dirt's a good look for you haha

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  21. Despite looking like Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo, this looks like it was a blast. And you and Bryan have the same dog! See pics in our new post.

    Congrats on finishing!

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  22. I don't really do mud but it really does look fantastic on you. You should become some sort of sexy mud model.

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  23. Is that mascara or mud? Tough to tell, but I think Mayballine just got jealous.

    Love it- say no to day-glow.

    That looks like fun but I can imagine the mud in your shoes could be troublesome.

    Otherwise- wicked awesome and you rocked it!

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  24. You make the dirt/mud look HOT! Never thought I would want to go get dirty but after reading and seeing the pictures, I want to!

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  25. So much fun! I have heard of races like this, and would love to try one. That dirt looks guuuud on ya :)

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  26. TriGirl- Having that light-headed feeling again I see. ;)

    Tony- My boyfriend played rugby in college. One more thing to tease him about. Thanks for that!

    Jane- You absolutely should. It was the most fun I've had in awhile.

    Michelle- Thanks for reminding me to add "start a to do list" to my list of things to start.

    Caffe- Finally! I've arrived!!!!

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  27. Dylanthulhu- Considering how I felt the next day, pretty sure the mud worked ME.

    Pickleope- Aww shucks. Delightfully disgusting? Me? Stop it some more.

    Tonya- Oh. Em. Gee. How revolting!!! I love it.

    Erin- I lost some good clothing that day. There was just no saving it.

    Natalie- I'll reserve a spot for you next year. Then you can teach me how to cook. Or maybe I'll just mix us up a couple of celebratory cocktails. Ew.

    Veronica Lee- It WAS fun and thanks. It's a look I'm thinking about taking to the work place.

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  28. Wow- That's actually what I'm saying in my head right now. Just. Wow. First I laugh, then I feel like chastising you. Then I laugh again. There are no words other than, wow.

    Kathi- Lets see if I can make it through Halloween, then I'll think about Christmas.

    Padded Cell Princess- Um. SUPER awesome! He would officially be the coolest dog ever.

    Veggie Assassin- Huh is right. Gold nuggets? As in misshapen balls of ear wax? Either way, that would be awesome. Gold OR wax. And yes, it IS the most fun ever so you should do it too. :)

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  29. Lucy- It seriously seriously was. Like, seriously. :)

    KSK- I agree. That way, no one can tell that you're sweating like a cat in a Korean deli.

    Joshua- I'll let E2 know you appreciate his work. :) He took all the pictures that day.

    Dakota- You're never too old to play in the mud or have an appreciation for Hello Kitty.

    Amanda- :) I'll have to remember that next time I'm too tired in the morning to shower.

    ABFTS- We totally left giant skid marks everywhere. I can't take credit for the awesomeness that is Zero. He belongs to Erin but I'll definitely check it out.

    Mandy_Fish- My Mother would be so proud. ;)

    One Bad Pixie- I still haven't used those shoes again. I think they're a lost cause. :( But I think you've discovered a new product. Mud mascara! Run with it!

    MySecrets- I HIGHLY recommend it!

    TexaGermaNadian- If you ever get the chance you really should! :)

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  30. That looks crazy fun! You've now inspired me to go find a picture of me and some friends from the Dead Sea all covered in mud.

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  31. Looks flippin fun! So glad I'm not the only one who pees in the mudhole. Word.

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  32. That looks like awesome fun. If there was one like that in my town I'd run it every week. And that dog is dam adorable. And your Mom was right about the wet t-shirt contest with mud.

    Holy crap! My word verification word is "coments"

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  33. You wear mud well. :-)

    My cousin did something similar, only it was volleyball.

    Mud is very popular these days!

    Pearl

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  34. No one can tell you peed but that looks suspiciously like a pile of poop in that one photo.

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  35. That looks really fun! And it is absolutely hilarious that your mom called it a wet t shirt contest, but with mud LoL!

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  36. Haha your personal profile made me wanna heave and laugh @ the same time. Never experienced that before...it was a pleasure! Ha! And well done to you full getting acquainted in the mud! Following you! Come around and check out my blog and follow me too : D

    C.ULT FRIDAY.

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  37. Thats awes! you are petty sexy, gotta love a dirty minded girl too! followed!

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  38. Phil- My Mother was certainly NOT right. We'll just have to agree to disagree...and damn you for making me use that phrase!

    Pearl- Mud volleyball??? Be still my heart!

    Mrs. Tuna- I suppose that would explain the pink eye I contracted shortly after the race.

    Lindsay- She doesn't get out much. Really.

    Viva- It's a terrifying combo, to be sure. I'll be sure to check you out. :)

    Makkura- I just assumed you were one of the cool kids trying out a new word. Obvi.

    Nixabn- My first reaction was to make some comment wondering why you would enjoy getting peed on...but I've decided to refrain. I'm classy like that.

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  39. No need to refrain. Oh to be the shower water.

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  40. You look really good covered in mud, I would just look homeless. Looks like a good time, I might have to see if they have one of these near me, except that whole part where running was involved kind of turned me off the idea.

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  41. Let's get dirrrty! :)
    Wow, I wish I could do something like that, too. Looks like so much fun - except that your shoes felt like bricks!
    But seriously, how often does one get a chance to behave like that?

    Thanks for sharing.
    Here's to a happy Sunday. xo.

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  42. it looks like you had a great time :) Just stopping by from FTLOB site :)


    www.futuremills.blogspot.com

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  43. Jordan- Your comment made me laugh. You'd be the prettiest homeless person ever. And the running part is optional. Only reason I participated. :)

    Nadine- Very rarely is it socially acceptable to roll around in the mud like a little piglet. That's why it's imperative to take advantage when you can. :)

    Janessa- Thank you for stopping by. And I adore your kittens name.

    Biff- It's not a bad place to be. Plus, it's always nice to have company.

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  44. Wow that really looks tons of fun:)

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  45. Yeah it's been said before, but damn! You look seriously hot in mud. I'm jealous.

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  46. I have to say this looked like it was a lot of fun! It brings back memories of being a kid all over.

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