Monday, September 27, 2010

Just. Stop.

This post is about something that's been bothering me for a little while now and I have to get it out.

In the last month or two I've lost some weight. It's been enough weight that I've had to resort to using my office supplies to keep my clothes adjusted properly. A well placed binder clip here...a few staples there...and voila! Tailor schmailor.

Okay. I know I look ridiculous. I know a binder clip holding up my pants looks just plain stupid. I know trying to staple the waist smaller is no substitute for having them professionally taken in. And I know using my paper clips as bobby pins to keep my bangs out of my eyes is a blatant lack of pride. That has nothing to do with the weight thing but whatever...I get it.

Here's the thing. I did not intentionally lose any weight. I do not like discussing my unintentional weight loss. I do not like having you look at me and cluck your tongue as if I've done something wrong. I do not want to be pulled into your office and asked if I'm sick. I do not want you tugging on the seat of my pants asking where my ass went. I do not want you monitoring my food intake. I do not want you to comment on my food intake or ask how I am skinny when I eat the way I do. I do not want you insinuating that I have an eating disorder. I do not want to hear your opinion that you think I look good. I do not look good. Just because I have to work with you and see you every day, does not give you the right to comment on what I'm wearing, what I'm eating, what I'm not eating or the way my body looks.
It's not okay to voice observations when a coworker is gaining weight, so please don't do it when one is losing weight.

Again. The weight loss is not intentional. I will gain it back. However, until it does come back you're just going to have to deal with the stupid binder clips, obnoxiously stapled pants and a droopy ass because I'll be damned if I'm going to buy a whole new wardrobe just to get you people off my case.

So please. I implore you. No more comments. No more monitoring. No more head tilted to the side with mock sympathy asking if everything is alright. Everything is alright for now but I can't say how much more of this bullshit I'm gonna be able to handle before I start drop-kicking some co-working mofo's. And I REALLY don't wanna pop any staples so please, people. JUST. STOP.


  1. I was wondering why your pants kept falling down during ping pong, I just thought you were trying to be gangsta with your baggy pants.


  2. Pour out some liquor.....have a toast for tha homies.
    Thug Til I Die! UH! What??

  3. This happened to me a few years ago when I went through a divorce. No one seemed to understand that for some of us, stress = weight loss. I mean, I have tried to lose weight at many times in my life with no success. If I could bottle divorce stress and sell it to women I'd be a millionaire.

  4. Exactly! It was a little concerning but I knew the weight would come back...but I would have been okay with maybe just half of it coming back.