Monday, October 26, 2009

An Apology To My Taste Buds


A funny thing happened on the way to the forum...
Okay, not really but a funny thing DID happen while waiting in line at the liquor store in la casa de azúcar. Whatever, the sugar house liquor store. I don't know why I thought it would sound cooler in Spanish, cause it didn't.
I get to the counter and clunk down my $9.00 bottle of Gilbey's Gin. I haven't even pulled out my debit card yet when from behind me I hear an acutely disdainful voice saying "Ugh! How can anyone stand to drink that shit?" Followed by an equally repulsed mutter "Dude, I know. It tastes like pine sol flavored paint thinner that's been strained through a dirty sock".
I can feel my face reddening with embarrassment but I simply HAVE to turn around to see who my hecklers are. I turn to my side and glance over my shoulder and see two very tanned, leathery faces with sunken in cheeks and perhaps 8 teeth...between the both of them. And that's when I am assaulted by the smell. Imagine your brothers dirty laundry that was left near an open window while it rained and then left for a week...and then rolled through dog pee. And then left for another week. Yeah. That should do it.
I turn back around to pay for my gin while attempting to take small sips of air through my mouth. Horse poo would have been a welcome aroma right about then.
I grab my brown paper sack and hightail it outta there while trying to wrap my head around the fact that two, clearly homeless men, have just judged my choice of alcohol. What the hell? You know it's time to make some possible amendments and apologies to your severely mistreated taste buds when even the homeless refuse to imbibe in your swill of choice.